‘Who am I?’
‘What is life all about?’
‘Why am I here?’
I feel so small and insignificant and wonder deep down if I matter. In the eyes of the state I am just a number, one among many millions. How can I be of any importance?
I look in the mirror and am sometimes startled by the stranger who seems to be staring back at me.
I am alive – I must be – I go to work, I talk to people, I eat. I go to bed and sleep, and then wake up next day. It all suddenly seems so pointless and empty. Time rushes by. Birthdays come and go and I wonder where the years have gone.
Where do I fit in all this? I seem to be going nowhere fast.
The universe is so vast. The endlessness of space is so frightening. Even our earth looks a mere speck as we hear of stars and galaxies millions of light years away. Yet here on earth or the first time in human history we have the ability to blow it and everything in it to pieces. The whole thing seems like a sick and senseless joke.
We go to the funeral of someone we know, killed on the road. We hear of a friend struck down with cancer, another one by incurable and deadly disease AIDS in the prime of life and we suddenly think, ‘That could be me.’ We wonder if there is anything after death – or is that the end of me?
Most of the times we try to sweep all these thoughts away as we slip back on to the merry-go-round of life with all its passing attractions.
But the fear and aches and uncertainties will not go away. All the time they are still lurking just below the surface.